Monday, October 1, 2012

where's my time machine?!

we all, unfortunately, make mistakes. some worse than others. i hate those moments when you just play a scenario over and over in your mind, and wish you had a time machine so you could go back and make it right! it could be as simple as having a comment to a friend come across the wrong way. or copying off your friends french homework in high school and getting in trouble because it was word for word and you clearly didn't understand the assignment (yes mom and dad, that happened, and the french teacher called me in her office and it was a big deal...ugh haha). or it could be much more complicated than that.

the worst part is we don't actually have time machines... if someone invented one, it would be so out-of-control busy that it would probably explode! so what can we do? beat ourselves up until we become so depressed that we can't function? say sorry until our eyeballs fall out?! i wish there was a simple answer. i know i have personally made mistakes from all ends and in-betweens of the spectrum... and it's tough. waiting for forgiveness is quite possibly one of the most terrible feelings in the world, especially if it's forgiving yourself.

the only thing i know how to do is only say sorry when you mean it, change your ways that you're sorry about, and then try to live and act better. and hopefully someday, forgiveness will come.

while i hate the fact that i've made mistakes and possibly hurt others in the process, i do know that i have grown stronger and smarter from them, and that everything happens for a reason. if i went back in a time machine and meddled in my past, i wouldn't be in the place that i am now. i wouldn't have my amazing, wonderful, funny husband. i wouldn't have my glorious, beautiful baby. i wouldn't have my supportive and loving friends. and i wouldn't have to go through the tough times that have made me a stronger person. of course, in the moment it's hard to think about it in these terms. so we just have to remind ourselves that eventually things will be better and make sense, even if they don't now (easier said than done, i know).

don't get me wrong--i'm not trying to write off any of the mistakes we make as people. i've just been thinking about this topic lately, and i'm trying to make sense of the aftermath. good luck, right?

1 comment:

Rachel Hatch said...

well i love you!! hope you are having a great day!