i feel like i need to maybe share a little bit about what i've learned since dealing w/infertility. yes, we have only been trying (and failing) for a little over a year and a half. and there are people out there who can literally NEVER have children. and we might be able to. so maybe in their eyes i'm not really one to talk. however, i feel like the same principles apply. and if i feel this way about stuff, then there might be other people who do too.
1. i know i've said this before, but dont ask people why they dont have kids yet. it doesn't matter if you are joking or think you're just being friendly... SOCIAL FAUX PAS PEOPLE! dont do it! unless you are bff with someone, and are prepared to possibly have an awkward or blubbering situation on your hands.
2. it SUCKS to hear someone constantly complain about their pregnancy or baby. i mean, thats annoying in general... but its more hurtful when you cant have kids. i am positive it is very hard to have a baby, and i admire those who do. but you dont know what people would give to have a baby, or put up with all the hard nights of crying. it would be welcomed.
3. if you know someone who is dealing with infertility, just be sensitive when you have news. i am genuinely happy for my friends who are pregnant or have children, but sometimes it can be hard to deal with at first. sometimes it doesnt even phase me, but other times i'm a little bit more emotional about baby things. so just try and be sensitive is all...
4. its annoying when you ask people, "well why dont you just adopt?" adoption can take years, and thousands of dollars. and to be honest, i want the experience of being pregnant! i want to feel a baby growing inside of me, feel a baby kick, have that special bond, take cute pictures of me getting bigger every week, etc. now thats not to say we are opposed to adopting, because we would like to one day. but if we're going to spend that much money, why not try to get pregnant first? everyone has their own view on this, but making an assumption about it is rude.
5. its also annoying when you tell someone "oh, well you're still young..." yes, people...i am only 24. who cares how old i am? dont judge me, it still sucks! and it would suck at any age! i do believe that everything happens for a reason, and i have been enjoying the extra freedom that josh and i have without kids. but please dont tell me that i'm still young. what does that even mean? i'm still young, so it doesnt matter?! it feels like a slap in the face.
basically... it all boils down to being considerate, and not making assumptions. granted, i am an emotional person, so these may not be applicable to everyone dealing with this. but my eyes have definitely been opened during this experience, so i wanted to share some of what i have learned. thanks for reading.
[[disclaimer: i feel like i have cycles of sadness, where i will be totally fine for a couple months, and then i'll just have a meltdown. today? meltdown mode... so this post could be more emotional than maybe i would be another time. and maybe later i'll feel like taking it down. but for right now, this is how i feel, and i think a lot of people don't realize how their words/actions could affect other people (and this applies to more than just infertility). i didnt fully realize myself, and still have a lot of room for improvement.]]