Saturday, August 1, 2009

letters: a series

dear coworker,

it was not very nice to call myself and our other coworker "white trash" because we coupon. if anything, i would use words such as "smart," "thrifty," "inspiring," etc.. white trash would be appropriate if i did white trash things, which i usually do not, as far as im aware. you are very rude and might want to look in the mirror before you go around calling other people dub-t.

your best crew member

dearest sarah,

please invite me to come see your baby.

your favorite

to whom it may concern:

i did not get all my newspapers last week and i better get all of them tomorrow, so i can do said-white-trash-things via couponing. otherwise i would like extra coupons and a cash refund.

your awaiting customer

dear universe,

please stop having people ask when we are going to have children. what if i was sterile? how rude!? really, i just want to get my life together and have a real job and stuff before all that having kids nonsense commences.

with respect,
just another married mormon

dear jay-z,

please stop being so cute and get off my lap so i can go print coupons...

your endearing caretaker


Andhari said...

Calling you what? I am SO repulsed. That's a really rude thing to call other people! Hate the person already I hope you and your co-workers give him or her a lesson or something, so annoying.

Liv said...

how does being smart enough to use coupons make someone white trash? this co worker of yours should meet my neighbors who sit on their porch half-naked while drinking beer and watching their dogs bark at passers-by. THAT'S white trash.