i go back to work on monday. i'm not exactly looking forward to it...
growing up i always said i wanted to be a career woman. i'm not sure if it's been some sort of twisted feminism thing where i want to be some sort of power woman, or if i didn't ever fully see the value in stay-at-home moms, or if i thought i wouldn't be a good mom or would have a hard time, or if i wanted to do it as a statement of my independence. i think it was some sort of messed up cocktail of all those things...
well, i've learned some things over time, and some interesting things recently:
-feminism is the right to choose to work or stay at home, not some need to become wonder woman
-being a stay-at-home mom is hard work and incredibly valuable
-i love being a mom. i never knew i could love a tiny human being so much
-i'm allowed to rely on other people if i want to (like my husband, and vice versa)
overall, i've definitely surprised myself by realizing i would love to stay at home with henry. and someday i probably will. but we've decided that right now the best thing we can do for our future is to have me work right now. we have really good jobs, we have built-in childcare only 10 minutes away, and we have a lot of bills. add these all up together, and working makes perfect sense. we're taking advantage of our current situations while we have them, and being really aggressive about paying back student loans and medical bills (remember that kidney stone from a couple years back? yeah...thanks). then we can reevaluate our situation in a year or two.
and with all these realizations i've been having over time, i have one more to add to the list: it doesn't make me any less of a person or a mother to go back to work. i still love this adorable face just as much: