Tuesday, August 23, 2011

and jess gets emotional...

um hi. there have been some situations going on lately that have made me think even further about baby things... so if anyone is sick of me talking about infertility and babies and whatnot, just come back later...

i have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and i find this point is continually proven right. i can honestly say now that i am GRATEFUL for our struggles with infertility. i know i would have been appreciative of being pregnant without those experiences, but i dont know exactly how appreciative i would have been... [[side note: i'm not trying to say we are amazing people because we struggled with infertility, and i know that compared to most people with infertility--our time dealing with it so far has been extremely short.]]

i literally MARVEL all the time at this baby growing inside of me. every time we go to the doctor and i hear his heartbeat, i cry. every time i feel him move, i smile. every time i look at an ultrasound picture or video, i am excited. yes, i am scared out of my mind to actually give birth and for everything that comes with it, but i am so eternally grateful that it all gets to happen to me.

i was put in a really hard situation last week with a friend, and it was one i wasn't ready for. i literally had a mini break-down, but had to realize i can't change how other people think or feel. so instead of dwelling or judging, i just need to move on and focus on little henry and the true miracle that he is. and i am glad i do get to see him as a miracle, no matter how he turns out.

i hope that those who are dealing with infertility will be able to feel what i am feeling someday. and i hope those who are pregnant and have children of their own can truly appreciate it, and see the miracles that they are blessed with.

thanks for reading ♥

8 comments:

Brittany Calkins said...

Thanks for making me cry! You are such a wonderful mother, the love you have for Henry is so beautiful! I look at Ava everyday so thankful for who she is and simply that she exists.

Darci said...

I know I have never dealt with infertility but honestly because of what you and Josh have gone through I look at Mona Jean every day and say a prayer of extreme gratitude. I feel so extremely blessed to be a mom, especially her mom. Thank you so much for helping me understand more fully the blessing of motherhood :)...even on the days when I feel like pulling all my hair out and gouging out my eyes with a spoon.

Oh and Henry really is a lucky dude. He is so lucky to have you 2 as parents. I can't wait to snuggle that munchkin. I am going to smother him. I hope you don't mind.

About Us said...

Great post. I am so grateful that you know what a miracle you have on your hands...er...in your belly ;) and that you get to have these experiences. I can see what you mean when you say it has made you appreciate it- I hope one day I will get to experience it either by pregnancy or adoption, and because of the experiences I have had up til that I will love that baby like crazy- just like you love Henry!! :)

Wonderland Papers said...

You are so awesome :) You have such a big heart and it is so obvious in this post. My husband and I are TTC now and I hope that things work out and that I always can remind myself just how blessed I am, no matter what path lies before us.

yours truly dear said...

thank you all, ladies, for your wonderful comments. i really appreciate all of them. and for all your support and encouragement. ♥

Elaine said...

you're so sweet, jess! i'm so happy for you and you and your husband are so deserving of this!

Emily said...

i love youuuuu!!!!!!!!!! i sometimes want to cry when i think about your little miracle. we love you!

yours truly dear said...

thank you ladies ♥