Thursday, May 6, 2010

vul.ner.able.

yesterday was one of my last days working at the museum at byu. it was the last day i got to see my boss, since he's leaving to california for a trip. after he left and i was sitting there at the computer by myself, it suddenly hit me. i am DONE with school, DONE working at byu, and now i have to go out into the REAL WORLD. i no longer have a reason to see my boss, my old classmates, or my old coworkers. i started tearing up a little bit, i wont lie. after this summer job i have no idea what i'll be doing, and that scares the doodoo out of me.

i feel very vulnerable, and that makes me uncomfortable. i don't like how the future is uncertain. i like things to be planned. i want us to have good jobs and have a comfortable income. or at least to have prospects!! and yes, i know i am not the only one in the world who feels like this. it seems like everyone is looking for a job these days. everyone wants security. i am just one of everyone else right now. and i'm expressing it.

i know things will work out eventually though. at least we can pay rent and buy groceries, and i have a good job for the summer. i'll pay my dues and hope something great will come up. i'm not writing this to get pity. i'm writing this because it's been on my mind and it's something i'm trying to deal with. [after all, it's healthy to acknowledge the down moments as well as the high ones...]. and to those out there who are in the same boat (i know there are some of you), i hope things start looking up for you soon as well. ♥

5 comments:

Parker said...

I'm on your boat, sister. I hate being on this boat. Here's to "our" next adventure.

hugs,
Fritzi Marie

Lisa said...

Yes...please let me off this boat.

Kerry_Kid Giddy said...

I've been there before. lived paycheck to paycheck. had loans to payback. had a life to live. no matter what - pay your tithing. If you earn big or small - pay it. The blessings will come back ten fold! You're a super crazy chick that can do anything you want! Do it & have fun! **hugs**

Kimberly said...

Kerry gives good advice. Love you!

Darci said...

Girl, I love you. And I know what its like to be worried about crap like this, I mean not the whole school part because Jeff won't be done until we are like 40 but just not knowing what comes next.