Purple Hair 101

As someone who has had purple hair for over three years, I've learned some tips and tricks over time. One of the most common questions I'm asked about is how often I have to redye my hair. My answer is every 2-3 months, and mostly because my roots really start to show by then. So here is everything you need to know about having purple hair (or alt hair colors in general).

1. Stop washing your hair so much. I wash mine once a week. If your hair gets oily, dry shampoo is your friend. I like Batiste, personally. You can buy it at Target/Walmart/Amazon, etc. Shampooing your hair gets rid of oils and color, and you should really just stop using it so much already! ;) My girl @mercidarci has a whole insta series on how to train your hair to go longer in between washes.

2. Don't wash your hair in hot water. I legit hate cold water and I just can't really handle it anymore, so I essentially aim for luke-warm water temperature. Hot water opens or lifts your hair cuticle, essentially shedding color like an invisible snake skin.

3. Use sulfate-free hair products. Sulfates are your enemy, remember that. Here are the current shampoo and conditioner I'm using (no affiliate links, who do you think I am? a hotshot?!?)

4. Wash your hair separately from when you shower. It's just easier, trust me. Wash it in a tub or the kitchen sink. Shower with a shower cap. And I also use gloves when I wash my hair, so my hands and nails don't turn purple. Bleach is your friend for cleaning any color stains out of your tub.

5. OVERTONE. I tell EVERYONE about this conditioner. It is a game changer. It deposits color and keeps it revived with every wash. I just buy the Go Deep weekly treatment, and use it the one time a week I wash my hair. Shampoo and condition as normal, and then get your overtone on. It will extend the life of your color like.....forever. If you're already blonde, you can use their conditioner to dye your hair. I will say, this is probably the most expensive hair product I buy ($29/jar), but it is absolutely worth it. The Go Deep jar probably lasts me about 3 months, and keeps my hair looking vibrant. JUST BUY IT ALREADY, ok?!
FOR TEN DOLLARS OFF YOUR ORDER CLICK HERE.

6.  Use quality color to begin with. I use the Pravana Vivids line. I go to my hairdresser every 2-3 months to have her bleach my roots, apply color to the roots, and then pull it down through all my hair to ensure a nice evenly fresh color. Research color lines and ask your hairdresser friends what they recommend. Stalk alt-hair girls or hairdressers online to see what they use, and how the colors look.

7. Similar to #6, if you have to bleach your hair first (like me), GO TO A PROFESSIONAL. Please don't bleach it yourself. I tried to bleach my ends one time by myself, and that hair turned into mush and I had to cut it all off. Not a good look. To keep your hair healthy and looking awesome, you need to go to a legit hairdresser to have it bleached.

8. Black is your friend. I wear black or dark colored tops for the first couple weeks after fresh dye. Light colored shirts will turn purple wherever your hair is touching. If you have short hair, however, then you have it made.

9. Pillowcases. They will get color on them. I use white pillow cases, so you can bleach them if they're ever getting stained. Or you could use a dark color, or the same color as your hair. I know, I'm a problem solver ;)

10. Rock your hair color like there's no tomorrow. It is insane the amount of people who tell me they wish they had the courage to dye their hair, because they love it but just "can't pull it off" or "are scared" or whatever justification they have stashed away. If you want alt hair, just GO FOR IT. If you hate it or you can't get your dream job because of it, WHATEVER. You can dye it back. Or wear a wig. Whatever...you have options!! Have fun and experiment! Live your life!

I hope this helped someone. Cheers to all of my unicorn-haired friends, you are amazing!! Feel free to add any additional tips in the comments, and I will update as I think of any more. GO FORTH AND SHINE BRIGHT!!

ramblings on becoming a better person

Disclaimer: this is super rambly and possibly quite annoying to anyone besides myself.  Read at your own risk ;)

Last month I had a kidney stone and it was a whole ordeal involving surgery, a stent, and a kidney/bladder infection from hell. Let's just say I didn't always handle it with the best of graces... There was a lot of tv watching, and a lot of me losing my patience and wanting to just go take a nap. It wasn't too pretty. Finally I just got fed up with myself and started browsing the internet for quotes on becoming a better person. And there were seriously SO MANY. Like, a never ending amount. Which actually made me instantly feel a little better that I'm not the only person in the world that's trying to better themselves (ha!). Reading all these quotes and thinking about how I need to change my attitude made me really think about humanity as a whole. NONE of us are perfect, no matter how perfect things may seem to outsiders. There's always something going on, something you're working on, something you could improve (even if you don't want to...), etc. It's kind of comforting to realize and accept that fact.

I wrote a snippet about this on my instagram account, and this is the quote I used. At the time, it was the most fitting. I didn't like how I was acting, and so I needed to change the story. I woke up the next day with a different attitude and perspective, and actively tried to be a better person and a better mom. While I wasn't perfect, obviously, it did make a huge difference throughout my day.

 

Whether I'm trying to change stuff or if I'm stuck in a rut, I'm still the same person. I can make the best out of what I've got in the present situation. I will always be Jess, I just want to be the most fabulous Jess that I can be ;)

In order to be in love with every minute of your life, you need to make the "good times" awesome, and make the "bad times" bearable, or at least try to see some reason for the crap that comes your way. Obviously this is easier said than done, but I think it is something to aspire to.

 

Another outcome of my soul-searching evening was that I realized I need to be pushing myself more. Challenge myself and my behavior. Delve into interests that may have perpetually been on the back-burner. Some days this really does just translate to *get out of the bed and feed your kids!*  haha

I liked this because there are all those sayings about acting the way you want to feel. If I want to be awesome, then I need to just start being awesome. Stay true to your own ethics/morals/personal guidelines, but DO the stuff you want to do, and ACT how you want to act!

This concept has been on my mind a lot lately. What makes me "come alive"? What am I passionate about? How can I create future employment from that? If you do what you love then you'll love what you do, right? I love being a mother and I'm forever grateful that I get to raise my two boys. While I want to work on being a better mom, I also need to figure out what else I really love and start developing my other interests as well. I feel so inspired by some of the people I follow on social media, and how they really do "come alive" and just radiate energy and love. That's how I want to be too. ♥

moving on...

Jules, from this lovely blog, posted the above picture on her Instagram the other day. And I loved it so much, I had to steal it. It was another confirmation of what I've been working towards lately...

One of my friends posted this on her Facebook page a few weeks ago and it was what I needed to hear that day. When I read this, the things that resonated with me were title, position, and income. Again, another confirmation of what I needed to do...

I've also found a few good quotes in some books I've read lately (maybe I'll find them and use them for a future post...) that all kind of relate to taking control of your own happiness. And doing what you want to do in your life. And guess what? I'm not happy working at home in my current position. The hours were too long, I was forced to ignore my child all day in order to accomplish my high work load, and I was constantly stressed out. While I'm grateful for this time I've had working at home, because it has helped me sort out my priorities more, I've had enough.

Now that we've paid off all our student loans/medical bills, we are blessed to be in the position where I don't need to work if I don't want to. And I don't want to anymore. I want to stay at home and play with my son. I want to be able to go out to the playground with Henry and be carefree and FUN. I also want to have time (and energy) to pursue my other interests. I haven't even done anything with my sewing machine since we moved. I've barely even read a book. These past few months I have just become more and more stressed, and it has been a complete revelation to realize I don't need to put myself (and my family) through this anymore.

So last week I put in my two weeks notice. It was freeing. It was like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I am more excited for the future and for all the opportunities I will have because of this. And I am happy. Happy with my decision, happy with my life, happy with my family, just plain HAPPY. And it's awesome. I am so grateful that I have made this choice, and for a supporting husband, family, and friends who have helped me so much. Cheers to happiness ♥ It's definitely something worth fighting for.

hair today, gone tomorrow...again?!

on sunday i made a bad decision... i bleached my own hair. you know how the ends were purple? that's because we had bleached them before and then put in the purple. i was waiting a while with the intention of getting them bleached again so the purple would be brighter the next time i applied it. so i got a bleach kit from Sally's, and had some extra time on sunday.......things did not go so well, and i ended up with fried poodle hair.

moral of the story: DO NOT BLEACH YOUR OWN HAIR AT HOME!!! it's worth the drive and the extra money to not ruin your hair. thankfully i wasn't bleaching allllll of my hair, or i would be bald right now. it was mildly traumatic, and there may have been a few tears shed. i'm sort of obsessed with my [now non-existant] long hair. thankfully one of my neighbors does hair and was available on short notice, and came to my rescue with a cute haircut. at least eight inches of hair were cut off, if not more :(

Henry didn't seem to mind the new 'do

short hair!

last night i dyed the ends purple again, so instead of the blond its now a deep purple. i'm trying to get used to having short hair again. long hair was my signature look! and i honestly just do not look as good with shorter hair. but i'm trying to rock it, and just waiting for it to grow out.

the one nice thing? washing my hair takes like 2 seconds. i can handle that :)

5 ways to find & capture your soulmate

there are all these awesome articles that are lists on how to do stuff, or not do stuff, and they're all advice-filled, etc etc etc. and they're super serious and thought provoking. and smart sounding. i'm sure you've seen them floating around the internet. and--confession--i usually like them. then last night when i was laying in bed i was thinking how it's so weird that you can go from not knowing someone, to meeting them, somehow getting to date them, and then having it become love, and then marriage. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!?! how did it happen to me?!

...lightbulb...

lets write a listy-list on how i found and captured my soulmate ;) without further ado, here are my tips. take it or leave it..

1. don't be scared
being timid won't get you anywhere. except for maybe being preyed on by outgoing/aggressive/annoying guys. which no one wants. so don't be scared! be willing to make a fool of yourself, show your true colors, and wave your freak flag. ultimately you want to be with someone who likes all those things, so why not be up front about them?

2. talk to people
or in my case, harass people. ok, i didn't harass josh (per se)... but i tried to think of things to say to him in class. one time i brought up all the hurricanes in florida (where he's from, and this was in '07 when they were really bad that one winter) as a way to try and talk to him. also, i needed to get him out of his shell a little bit, because he's really shy until you get to know him. plus, if you never talk to anyone, how will you ever meet your soulmate!? or even know if you have anything in common!

3. share your snacks
sharing goldfish went a long way in starting our friendship. enough said. [what? i wanted it to be 5 tips, not 4!]

4. don't be afraid to make the first move
i asked josh out. i wanted to go out with him, so i made it happen. in my personal opinion, playing "hard to get" is annoying and over-rated. this is the 21st century, people. women don't just belong in the kitchen anymore (ahem, take notes mr. romney...). oh, i also eventually asked josh to be my boyfriend. cuz that's how i roll. and no, i didn't propose to him, i let him do all that hard work ;)

5.  keep it real
this covers many aspects. how you act yourself, how you act with eachother, how you act in certain situations, etc.. be true to yourself, and remember what is important. don't be flippant or shady with your feelings and actions. if you know it's the real deal, don't throw it away.

well, you probably didn't learn anything from this list, but i hope you enjoyed reading it. i should insert some sort of disclaimer that it's past my bedtime, and so my thoughts are becoming fuzzy. or i could just own it. take notes kids, and go forth and find your soulmates!

[or, if you're already with your soulmate, just be grateful you found them and it all worked out well for you :) hallelujah, right?!]

where's my time machine?!

we all, unfortunately, make mistakes. some worse than others. i hate those moments when you just play a scenario over and over in your mind, and wish you had a time machine so you could go back and make it right! it could be as simple as having a comment to a friend come across the wrong way. or copying off your friends french homework in high school and getting in trouble because it was word for word and you clearly didn't understand the assignment (yes mom and dad, that happened, and the french teacher called me in her office and it was a big deal...ugh haha). or it could be much more complicated than that.

the worst part is we don't actually have time machines... if someone invented one, it would be so out-of-control busy that it would probably explode! so what can we do? beat ourselves up until we become so depressed that we can't function? say sorry until our eyeballs fall out?! i wish there was a simple answer. i know i have personally made mistakes from all ends and in-betweens of the spectrum... and it's tough. waiting for forgiveness is quite possibly one of the most terrible feelings in the world, especially if it's forgiving yourself.

the only thing i know how to do is only say sorry when you mean it, change your ways that you're sorry about, and then try to live and act better. and hopefully someday, forgiveness will come.

while i hate the fact that i've made mistakes and possibly hurt others in the process, i do know that i have grown stronger and smarter from them, and that everything happens for a reason. if i went back in a time machine and meddled in my past, i wouldn't be in the place that i am now. i wouldn't have my amazing, wonderful, funny husband. i wouldn't have my glorious, beautiful baby. i wouldn't have my supportive and loving friends. and i wouldn't have to go through the tough times that have made me a stronger person. of course, in the moment it's hard to think about it in these terms. so we just have to remind ourselves that eventually things will be better and make sense, even if they don't now (easier said than done, i know).

don't get me wrong--i'm not trying to write off any of the mistakes we make as people. i've just been thinking about this topic lately, and i'm trying to make sense of the aftermath. good luck, right?

money money money moneyyyy....money!

word to the wise...DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO NOT GET STUDENT LOANS!!! got it? good! student loans are the devil, and the bad thing is that they are way too easy to obtain. you have this mentality of "i'm going to college, i'm going to get a good job, and then i can pay these suckers off no problem." false. interest rates are crazy. if you just pay the minimum payments you could be paying on them for decades. also, it's no easy feat to get a job right after you graduate. especially a good job.

so yeah, moral of the story is: work your butt off, be dirt poor, apply for every scholarship you could possibly qualify for, harass financial aid counselors, and say no to student loans. i wish i could go back in time, shake myself, and change the way i did it all.

josh and i have been working very hard this year on paying off our loans/medical bills (remember that kidney stone from like 2 years ago? yeah, still paying on that...ugh!!). we are kicking ourselves for not being more dedicated last year, but you can't change the past. so this year my entire paycheck is going to childcare and loans, and we're only living off of josh's paycheck. so far its been really good as far as paying off more and more loans, but also really depressing at the same time. sometimes i think of all the things we could do with that money if we didn't have any student loans... shopping trips, vacations, plastic surgery (what?), a fence in our backyard, a dog, and most of all: staying home with my adorable child. sigh.

please don't get student loans, folks. and if you have gotten them in the past, work extra hard on paying them off when you actually have opportune fiscal situations to do so (like we did, last year). whenever josh and i get all depressed thinking about how we should have been doing this last year, i just have to remember that at least we are working really hard now, and we should have it all paid off within this next year. then our only debt will be our house.

...i can deal with that.

work

i go back to work on monday. i'm not exactly looking forward to it...

growing up i always said i wanted to be a career woman. i'm not sure if it's been some sort of twisted feminism thing where i want to be some sort of power woman, or if i didn't ever fully see the value in stay-at-home moms, or if i thought i wouldn't be a good mom or would have a hard time, or if i wanted to do it as a statement of my independence. i think it was some sort of messed up cocktail of all those things...

well, i've learned some things over time, and some interesting things recently:
-feminism is the right to choose to work or stay at home, not some need to become wonder woman
-being a stay-at-home mom is hard work and incredibly valuable
-i love being a mom. i never knew i could love a tiny human being so much
-i'm allowed to rely on other people if i want to (like my husband, and vice versa)

overall, i've definitely surprised myself by realizing i would love to stay at home with henry. and someday i probably will. but we've decided that right now the best thing we can do for our future is to have me work right now. we have really good jobs, we have built-in childcare only 10 minutes away, and we have a lot of bills. add these all up together, and working makes perfect sense. we're taking advantage of our current situations while we have them, and being really aggressive about paying back student loans and medical bills (remember that kidney stone from a couple years back? yeah...thanks). then we can reevaluate our situation in a year or two.

and with all these realizations i've been having over time, i have one more to add to the list: it doesn't make me any less of a person or a mother to go back to work. i still love this adorable face just as much:

buying a house

is stressful. there are big words and strange phrases and HOAs and weird clauses that you have never heard of before. even if you watch hgtv (they glamor it up on those shows, fyi). i've been meaning to do this post for a LONG time, and list some things we learned in the process. so here goes...

number 1: get a good agent
thankfully one of my friends, Jennifer Bechthold, is a realtor. not only is she someone that i know and trust, i also know she has amazing work ethic (she kicked my trash when we worked at the forest service together!) and always has other peoples best interests at heart. she [literally, at times] held our hands through the entire process. the patience she had with us was amazing, and i'm not exactly sure how she put up with us. sometimes i would just text her at random hours and be like "so wait...will you please explain again how earnest money works?" or some similar question. she was so knowledgeable about everything i would ask her, even if it was to explain some crazy stipulation or line in a paper i was signing. it was extraordinary. i mean, i knew she was a smarty-pants, but this lady really knows her stuff. i don't think we could have bought a house without her, and i mean that honestly. she wasn't pushy at all, but she gave us extra opportunities and put in a lot of extra time to help us out. she's the one who found the winning house, so really we owe her a lot. i could go on and on about how fabulous Jen is, and if you would like to know more just ask me, and also check out her website. i think your realtor is a huge factor in having a good experience buying a house, and we really lucked out having Jen on our team!

number 2: keep your options open
when we first started looking for a house we had a certain image in mind. also, a certain price range, and a certain location. i do not always recommend this... obviously you can have qualities in a house that you favor or are looking for, the general location, your realistic price range, etc. BUT you also need to be willing to get outside the box every once in a while. we hadnt even found the house we now live in because it was listed at just a few thousand over our price range. it was our bomb.com realtor, jen, who found it and asked if we wanted to check it out. BAM, fell in love, the house was perfect. and now its ours!

number 3: dont focus on the fixtures
...or the paint colors, or the wood stain, or the weird blinds, etc. i see this all the time on hgtv, when people are buying their first home and are turned off by a place because the paint colors are all wrong. you can change things! you have to look at a house as if its a blank canvas that you are allowed to change to your liking. i have to admit, i was a little guilty of this phenomenon, but jen was always really good at reminding me that we could change stuff. and it makes all the difference. for example, i did not like the lighter colored wood in this house that was over the fireplace and on the banister. that was about a $10 fix. and now i love it.

number 4: save your money like crazy people
buying a house is expensive. not just because of the mortgage. theres the down payment (ew), earnest money, closing costs, and home inspection [just to name a few costs]. and thats all just before you move in. then you have the moving costs, you might have to take some time off to pack/move/whaturr, then you might need some appliances (or in our case: a fridge, washer and dryer, and above range microwave). also, if you are moving from a smaller place (ie apartment), you suddenly have a lot more room to put things in. so you might need some new furniture. you want to buy paint. you have to pay someone to mow the lawn, or buy a lawnmower, or get a hand-me-down lawnmower and be proactive enough to actually use it. it's sort of like that book "if you give a mouse a cookie". a lot of stuff goes on that you may not have thought about before moving. and you're gonna need some extra cash. so be smart and save like tightwads!! it will be worth it :)

number 5: don't get frustrated
we had some interesting loan-related matters come up, which delayed our move-in date and really threw us for a loop. buying a house is not always a super simple process. you may not know the exact date you're going to close on your house until a week (or less) before. or maybe something ends up costing more money than you thought. or maybe something falls through. i've heard a lot of stories, and it really all just boils down to going with the flow and keeping your head up. don't get frustrated, because there will be a solution. you might have to search for it, but there are tons of people and resources out there to help you.

i feel like there are a lot of other things we learned along the way, but these are some of the more important ones. if i remember more later, maybe i'll make some sort of series out of it. i hope this information can help someone out. but know that if us two dummies can do it, so can you ;)